| Understanding the importance of your | | | | off base here but I got the impression that you |
| communication abilities if you plan on being a | | | | were upset with me for some reason." In this |
| leader is important. It's all about clean | | | | case you can just sit and wait until Person B |
| communication, and without this beginning | | | | responds. |
| foundation you will not be able to flourish for all of | | | | It might also be that Person B has their own |
| your followers. | | | | unclean communication with intention. If this is |
| What exactly is Clean Communication? | | | | present then you should expect that there is |
| The easiest way to help you understand clean | | | | some issue between the two of you. |
| communication and how it affects your leadership | | | | Unfortunately there are many people who have a |
| development is by realizing the components that | | | | hard time with confrontations, which makes this |
| are not present. Things that come in the form of | | | | an unpleasant experience. Keep in mind, if you |
| an attack, shame, blame, upset, anger, | | | | don't do anything the situation is going to manifest |
| manipulation, ridicule, disdain, lies or anything else. | | | | and eventually evolve into something that hurts |
| In order to start building communication skills that | | | | each person. This happens in relationships all the |
| are acceptable, one must know the difference | | | | time and is one of the reasons why major |
| between conscious and unconscious deliveries. The | | | | relationship breakdowns actually occur. If you |
| conscious version is much easier to deal with for | | | | continue to wait you will find that this toxic |
| most because it won't have emotional awareness | | | | residue can turn into major issues like silence or |
| attached to it. This is because the individual is | | | | even violence. Then again, it could be both. |
| thinking about whether or not it's a good idea to | | | | Clean communication is all about addressing the |
| speak out in anger, attack someone or even | | | | issue the next time you step into another |
| manipulate them. When dealing with unconscious | | | | conversation with the same person. If you even |
| delivery you have to understand that the individual | | | | have the slightest small and unclean |
| is most likely in denial about their intent of | | | | communication left unaddressed, it will be very |
| communication. | | | | difficult to take a step back and refocus your |
| Here is an example of a Person A having | | | | energy in a positive nature. It's why you will have |
| communications with Person B. Keep in mind that | | | | to continue building communication skills in order to |
| both individuals are simply experiencing a smooth | | | | resolve these situations appropriately. |
| flow of communication. In the graphic below, just | | | | It will be important to keep an eye out for the |
| look at the arrow passing between both of them. | | | | residue. It looks like: |
| This is what we call; Clean Communication. | | | | *slight nervousness |
| The next example shows that the communication | | | | *being wary |
| isn't nearly as clean as before and there are | | | | *looking for confirming evidence that you are right |
| issues with the flow. There are many ways | | | | *anxiety |
| people feel these blips, and it will cause sensations | | | | *upset of some form |
| like: | | | | *a combative approach |
| *slight discomfort in some part of your body | | | | *defensiveness |
| *a feeling of nausea, breathlessness, increased | | | | *withholding certain pieces of information |
| heart rate | | | | *lowered trust |
| *physical shock in the heart or gut area in the | | | | Even though this may sound odd, Person B may |
| more extreme cases | | | | still be innocent and you are the entire problem. |
| Thoughts will also surface that may include: | | | | If you want to get a glimpse of what an |
| *something is not right here | | | | expanding issue looks like, be sure to look at the |
| *I do not believe them | | | | 3rd graphic. |
| *something is missing | | | | Blow up situations happen simply because 2 |
| *they are having a go at me | | | | people can't seem to address the issues. A great |
| *they do not like me/what I have done/my work | | | | example of this is if Person A misunderstands |
| etc. | | | | something from Person B and never brings it up |
| *I sense sarcasm, attack, bitterness, a hidden | | | | again. Instead, Person B picks up the negative |
| agenda | | | | vibe that Person A has been holding on to for |
| Then again there may be intuiting ideas like: | | | | quite some. However, Person B has been holding |
| *attack | | | | his or her own residue and the argument or fight |
| *ridicule | | | | surfaces. This could have been avoided, but |
| *deception | | | | because of the mis-interpretation and failure to |
| *lying | | | | produce clean communication both parties are |
| *manipulation | | | | upset. |
| Another important issue to understand is that you | | | | It's also possible that Person B could bring forth an |
| do not have to be aware of low grade problems | | | | intentional attack. If this occurs a conflict |
| until later on down the road. This will be around | | | | resolution skill is a must. Let's put it this way; |
| the time that you have any of the experiences | | | | saying nothing is an unhealthy option. Those who |
| above, even if they are vague ones. | | | | become defensive or try to say nothing only add |
| If this happens to you or in this case "Person A," | | | | more fuel to the fire. |
| the experienced feeling may not be an | | | | In order to provide self discipline, you must |
| interpretation of the other's communication level. | | | | interact by using clean communication. If you are |
| Remember, it could simply be your own | | | | in any leadership development program, it's the |
| experience since you may be the one without | | | | best rule you can have in regards to all |
| clean communication. If you ever decide to take | | | | relationships. |
| on leadership development you have to | | | | We understand you will want to continue building |
| acknowledge this before you can push forward. | | | | communication skills, because leaders should keep |
| This is considered one of the essential parts to | | | | all communication completely clear at all times. |
| emotional intelligence. If by chance you come | | | | Over time this will become second nature and will |
| across your own knee jerk reaction, it's important | | | | be critical to your overall efforts. The leader must |
| to continue building communication skills on an | | | | also show a level of honesty and openness or |
| emotional and comprehensive level. | | | | else it won't work. See, when you're in an |
| It's possible that Person B is completely innocent. | | | | organization that has no trust or safety then the |
| The real issue here is that your interpretation and | | | | clean communication is worthless. |
| sensitivity is the one to blame. If you can accept | | | | Leadership development is all about the ability to |
| this you will have no problem asking the question | | | | build powerful relationships and provide a level of |
| of Person B. After all, it's the only way you're | | | | integrity that is at its highest level. This should be |
| going to do it. | | | | done even before conducting staff training or |
| Below you will find an example of how this can be | | | | anything else within the company. |
| done: | | | | Eventually you will find that clean communication |
| "Last night when we discussed X you happened | | | | agreements will be non-negotiable. This is because |
| to mention Y. I'm really not sure if I understood | | | | both parties understand exactly what is going on |
| your message the right way and was wondering | | | | or the next step that needs to be taken. It also |
| if we could discuss it? I just want to be on the | | | | builds a high level of trust as well. |
| same wave length. What did you mean when you | | | | In the end, if everyone is committed to clean |
| said...?" | | | | communication and utilize whenever necessary, |
| Take the necessary time to discuss the matter | | | | everyone will function more effectively. It doesn't |
| until you have full clarity over the situation. | | | | matter if it's a personal or work relationship, |
| Then again, you can take a similar approach that | | | | because leadership development is about all of |
| works the same way: "Do you remember when | | | | them. This way if there is ever a |
| we were talking about X and you mentioned Y | | | | miscommunication it will be resolved in a timely |
| the other day? I was thinking about it and I'm not | | | | and respectable fashion. |
| sure if I understood everything. I could be way | | | | |