| When people are asked what traits and qualities | | | | experiences. |
| they admire in their mentors and leaders, the | | | | Top leaders understand that they need to be |
| typical responses are that they are caring, | | | | aware of how they behave, react, and respond in |
| engaging, authentic, positive thinkers, creative, | | | | stressful situations and conflicts. It's important to |
| patient, empathetic, charismatic and thoughtful. | | | | know the "triggers" that can potentially set you |
| These qualities are not taught in college textbooks | | | | off. |
| or graduate school courses. They are learned and | | | | In the leadership training programs I provide on |
| developed by people who have come to | | | | Emotional Intelligence and Neurolinguistic |
| understand the value of Emotional Intelligence. | | | | Programming (NLP), I repeatedly hear scenarios |
| In our competitive business world, Emotional | | | | from people about how they mishandled situations |
| Intelligence, or EQ, is more important than your | | | | with colleagues, clients and prospects. Examples |
| IQ. Your ability to connect with people on a | | | | include raising voices, interrupting, criticism, |
| genuine human level and build rapport with them is | | | | defensive tone of voice, and negative body |
| essential if you want to climb the ladder of | | | | language. |
| success, and stay at the top. | | | | Here are 3 Tips to Improving Your Emotional |
| Regardless of where you went to college and | | | | Intelligence: |
| your SAT scores, your IQ can not be changed. | | | | 1. Start watching people. Identify a few people |
| The number you were born with is yours for life. | | | | who you admire for their empathy, |
| IQ measures spatial and cognitive reasoning and is | | | | self-confidence and assertive communication. |
| mathematically-based. It can help you in solving | | | | Observe how they interact with others. Be aware |
| right angle problems and theorems but will not | | | | of how people with strong Emotional Intelligence |
| help in resolving breakdowns in communication | | | | handle difficult people and situations. Leaders with |
| while planning a team retreat, budget meeting or | | | | high levels of EQ tend to bring individuals together |
| website overhaul. While education is so important | | | | instead of dividing them. They are able to |
| in the building of our foundations and disciplines, a | | | | articulate and convey their opinions, |
| degree from an Ivy League school and an | | | | recommendations, feelings and thoughts in a |
| impressive IQ do not ensure that you have | | | | confident and calm way that is considerate and |
| adequate communication skills to connect with | | | | respectful to everyone. They don't blame others. |
| others and be successful in the workplace. | | | | They take full responsibility for their actions and |
| Emotional Intelligence is what I call "street smarts." | | | | behavior. |
| EQ is a huge factor in communication and conflict | | | | 2. Develop assertive communication skills. People |
| resolution, both at work and home. Individuals with | | | | who lead and live with EQ understand that every |
| high levels of EQ have compassion, empathy, | | | | spoken sentence does not require an answer. |
| congeniality, patience, assertiveness and | | | | They don't react and they definitely don't |
| self-awareness. Again, the good news is that EQ | | | | over-react. Silence may initially feel awkward but |
| can be learned. | | | | silence is conversations and in conflicts can be |
| According to a survey conducted by U.S. News & | | | | extremely powerful. By asking good questions and |
| World Report, 90% of people are fired from their | | | | truly listening, leaders show others that they |
| jobs because of attitudinal or relationship problems. | | | | genuinely care and are empathetic. Practice with |
| Only ten percent lose their jobs due to lack of | | | | the approach of less talking and more listening. |
| skills or ability. A huge part of our success is | | | | 3. Validate the other person's feelings. Avoid |
| based on our attitudes, communication and | | | | shifting the focus of the conversation. It's |
| mindsets. | | | | important to allow others to express themselves |
| Developing Emotional Intelligence comes with age. | | | | without judging, criticizing or interrupting. If a |
| Allow me to get scientific for just a moment. EQ | | | | co-worker complains to you that their items in |
| is directly linked to our brain functions. The | | | | the budget were cut, allow them to vent for a |
| amygdala part of our brains is responsible for | | | | few minutes. Don't spend too much time talking |
| pulling out emotional meaning from nonverbal | | | | about how you felt when you fell victim to a |
| messages, like a scowl, shifts in posture and eye | | | | budget crunch at your old job. Even if you have |
| contact. The amygdala reads the emotional | | | | never experienced the swinging budget ax, you |
| aspect of whatever we perceive. The problem is | | | | can still be compassionate and listen. You don't |
| that this portion of our brain is not fully developed | | | | have to fall out of a window to know it hurts. |
| until the age of 25. This is why older people tend | | | | Management and business guru Jim Rohn said, |
| to be more adept at managing a variety of | | | | "Work on your career and you'll make a living. |
| emotions and reactions. Chalk it up to life's | | | | Work on yourself and you'll make a fortune. |