Leadership Coaching Tip: The Daring Art (and Heart) of Recovery

ttom-link">account!” So notice, where is your attention?
It’s definitely not on the group. By now
Have you felt ‘knocked off-kilter’,you’ve probably REALLY lost them.
‘thrown for a loop’ orInstead: Make your mistake, notice that you
‘disgruntled’ at work or at home. made it in the moment, correct it if necessary,
How many times have you had a situation atand move on. Continue to be a fully engaged
work, or at home, where you felt ‘knockedpublic speaker. Keep your attention on the
off-kilter’, ‘thrown for a loop’ orpresentation and the people in your audience.
‘disgruntled’?Leadership Coaching Scenario Two: You’ve
Probably not often (wink). But for you who havejust completed a project that you think is really
experienced something like this, think about agreat. You send it out to your team and the
particular situation. Did it come from a meeting,feedback is scathing. (Maybe not “scathing”,
conversation or project that didn’t go sobut disappointing.) Here’s your chance:
well, some harsh feedback, a flub as a publicoption one - you “shut down”, start to focus
speaker or something that you just didn’ton how you’ve failed, how no one gets
expect? It often feels like “failure.”you, how you shouldn’t even be in this line
It happens to us all, and as painful as it is, this is aof work, how YOU are a failure.
place where there lies an abundance ofInstead: Get your feedback, put it all in your
opportunity for growth in effective leadership.feedback “basket”, try to remember
Looking back at your “event,” what broughtit’s not “personal” - it’s about
you back to center? Got you back on track?the “thing”. Quickly remember that feedback
Helped you move forward? My guess is that youis just feedback. What can you take from
“recovered” - it may have been a quick or“this” feedback and use to move you
long and painful process — but you did it.forward? What systems might you put in place
The act of “recovery” is a gift. It’sso this doesn’t happen again? For example,
an art - and it’s much like a muscle. Theyou might design in a structure for feedback
more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes.before completion. Finally, make any necessary
Recovery is the ability to “get back” orshifts, put this incident in your “future learning
“regain activity.” And for effective leadership,resource file” and move on.
recovery is essential.Leadership Coaching Scenario Three:
At a deeper level, the act of “recovery” alsoYou’ve been exercising and eating clean
requires heart. Heart for yourself and heart forfor one month! Things are moving along, energy is
others. Compassion. Think about a time youup, inches are disappearing. This whole self-care
goofed. What was necessary to “forgive”thing rocks! And zing! It’s the holidays -
yourself? When someone else falls down,parties, family, meals, and vacation all hit at once.
it’s essential to engage the heart and trulyHere’s your chance: option one - let go of
give them the space, courage and compassion toall that good work; it’s a moot point
get up and come back stronger.anyway, why try? You’ve failed, so while
I believe heart, and the desire to create a positiveyou’re at it, you beat yourself up a bit.
impact, is at the center of recovery.Instead: Give yourself a break! Enough with the
We all have our special processes for recovery.self-bullying. Do what you can: move your
We all have our ways of engaging the heart.workouts to the morning, substitute the gym for
What are yours? Here are three commonbrisk walks with family, continue to eat clean AND
examples I see in personal coaching work withgive yourself permission to enjoy some
others.celebratory cheer. Make it fun.
Leadership Coaching Scenario One: You’reFor the rest of the month, notice when you need
giving a big presentation and you make a mistaketo recover and exercise those “muscles”!
in the data. You feel yourself shuffle, perhapsThese things are bound to happen and they can
flush, and so begins your inner dialogue: “I justbe really challenging when they do. And with a bit
totally messed up; oh, they’re never goingof recovery, you’ll be right back on track
to ask me in again; I’m going to lose thismoving forward to make the impact you want!