| Communication is an essential part of everyday | | | | Effective communication is not all about us and it's |
| life. Some people are naturally better at | | | | not just about communicating our message; it is |
| communicating than others and some more | | | | also about understanding the intended meaning of |
| experienced. If we are good at talking, however, | | | | the other person's message. |
| we shouldn't be fooled into believing that we are | | | | Our communication objective is 'to achieve mutual |
| good at communicating. Likewise, if we happen to | | | | respect and understanding'. |
| be quiet, that doesn't mean we are bad | | | | This means that when we are communicating |
| communicators. | | | | with someone, we need to make a conscious |
| Everything we do in life, and at work, | | | | effort to consider the message they are |
| communicates a message to others. And in a | | | | communicating to us (both verbally and |
| leadership role, it is important to make sure we | | | | non-verbally) from their perspective. If we take |
| are communicating the right message. Effective | | | | the information we are receiving and consider it in |
| communication is therefore one of the most | | | | terms of: |
| important leadership skills. | | | | - what is important to them |
| Most of us have probably heard this saying: | | | | - what their needs are |
| "It's not what we say but how we say it." | | | | - what their preferred way of communicating is |
| This can be true; as effective communicators, | | | | - how they are feeling, and |
| however, we should understand that: | | | | - what their circumstances are |
| "It is what we say and how, when, where and | | | | ... we stand a much better chance of achieving |
| why we say it." | | | | our communication objective, 'mutual respect and |
| What, how, when, where and why we | | | | understanding. |
| communicate is the difference between negative | | | | 2. Effective listening |
| and positive interactions, situations, outcomes and | | | | Listening is arguably the most essential skill for |
| relationships. It can be the key difference | | | | effective communication and is a far more difficult |
| between being a poor leader and an exceptional | | | | process than just hearing the words someone is |
| leader. | | | | saying. |
| Having the skills to communicate effectively is one | | | | Effective listening involves focusing our ears, eyes |
| of the keys to leading people effectively. | | | | and minds on the speaker and the mix of verbal |
| Effective communication is a very challenging and | | | | and non-verbal (body language) messages they |
| complex process as there is always the potential | | | | are delivering to us in order to gain a true |
| for misunderstanding. | | | | understanding of the point they are trying to |
| Let's consider, as an example, the question: "Who | | | | convey. |
| made that decision?" | | | | We need to: |
| The question "Who made that decision?" seems | | | | - block out the thoughts that are flowing through |
| like a straightforward question, however | | | | our minds (including what we plan to say next) |
| depending on who asked it, how they asked it, | | | | - ignore the external activity that may be taking |
| who was asked and under what circumstances it | | | | place around us |
| was asked there could be any number of | | | | ... and focus on listening. Otherwise we are likely to |
| surprising responses (either spoken or thought), | | | | miss a key signal that could help us to understand |
| such as: | | | | their message completely. |
| "Oh that'd be right - I've slaved over this for | | | | 3. Constructive Reframes |
| hours all by myself and only now you decide to | | | | Learning to communicate positively and |
| come down here and get involved!"or | | | | constructively will almost always lead to improved |
| "I did and if it's not perfect I don't have time to | | | | outcomes. To help us make our sentences more |
| fix it; I have much more important things to be | | | | positive and constructive, we can use |
| doing!" | | | | Constructive Reframes. Constructive Reframes |
| What if the full question was: | | | | simply involve removing negative words in a |
| "Who made that decision - it looks fantastic! What | | | | sentence and adding positive words. |
| a great idea!" | | | | Let's consider the following negative sentence as |
| If the question had been communicated in this | | | | an example: |
| way, it is likely that a much more positive | | | | "This report is rubbish". |
| response would have been received. | | | | If we were to use a Constructive Reframe, we |
| This example demonstrates that communication | | | | could instead say: |
| can be very challenging, which is exactly why, in | | | | "There are some areas of this report that could |
| order to be effective leaders, we need to learn | | | | be improved". |
| how to communicate effectively. | | | | Although we are still delivering the same general |
| So where do we start? | | | | message, the constructive sentence is much |
| There are many, many facets to effective | | | | easier for the other person to accept. It is |
| communication, such as using and interpreting | | | | therefore more likely that they will listen to our |
| body language, receiving criticism positively, | | | | message rather than feel attacked and become |
| assertive communication and managing | | | | defensive. |
| communication barriers, just to name a few. | | | | Although we are only touching the surface here, |
| As a starting point, here are three of the most | | | | using these three communication elements - |
| important effective communication skills to | | | | consider their perspective, effective listening and |
| consider: | | | | Constructive Reframes - will immediately lead to |
| 1: Consider their perspective | | | | improved communication outcomes and is a great |
| 2: Constructive Reframes | | | | starting point for developing effective |
| 3: Effective listening | | | | communication skills and becoming a better leader. |
| 1. Consider their perspective | | | | |